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It has been several months since I’ve last written, and I can tell you that I am no longer going through post-nuptial depression. More recently, I have been experiencing the growing pains that come with maturity. I feel as though I’ve gained a great deal of perspective in the past couple of months. Things are different than they were before, different in a good way.

While I was going through bouts of depression, I would often place blame on my husband for the way I felt. This blame was misplaced, and he didn’t deserve it. Since then, I’ve had an epiphany of sorts, which has to do with the way I now view our relationship.

After my doctor recommended I see a therapist, I asked my sister if she would talk to me once a week about how I was doing. She was taking a psychology class at the time and told me to read a book about dysthemia, a moderate form of depression. In the book, there was a section that talked about how people with dysthemia suffered from a lack of communication with loved ones. This was me, of course, since I’d cut off most of my contact with the outside world.

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I got into a trivial fight. Some of it had to do with the fact that we both don’t have very many friends where we live, and the friends that were here temporarily had left. I actually have a couple of friends at work that I see regularly, but he doesn’t. So, in the midst of the fight when he said, “you’re my only friend, you’re my best friend,” I started to break down.

I realized that I had been selfish all this time and that I wasn’t the only one having a hard time. We’re not just married, we’re friends. I know it sounds silly, but for some reason, this caused a major breakthrough in my attitude and my thinking. I no longer just viewed us as a married couple. I no longer saw him as just my husband. I began to see him as my best friend.

Since then, we have fought less, done more things together and enjoyed our time together even more than before. Looking back on it now, I can’t believe it took me so long to realize that one simple thing. But now that I have, I am truly greatful. It reminds me of the time when we were just dating, without the pressure and obligation of marital roles.

I have to say that this Halloween is looking much better than last, and hopefully we’ll have trick-or-treaters!